organization, Uncategorized

4 Corners Organizing

Organization. That beautiful concept that has so often eluded me. I seriously struggled with this area of life for many years and although I have learned so much over time, I still have a long way to go. Many of the people I admire most are those awesomely naturally organized goddesses that float through life with their planners, effective routines, and efficient lifestyles (if that’s you, I love you…come be my friend).

But really, organization is such an important part of life, especially if you are going to be effective in managing a home, business, work, family, church, ministry, etc. (And double especially if you happen to be doing all at once which I know many of us are). And although I am not naturally an organized person, I have really researched, read, studied and worked hard to create a sense of order and organization in my life and home with some good results, thanks be to God!

Yet still, every once in awhile, my to do list piles up and I get overwhelmed. You ever get those moments when everything and everyone just seems to be going crazy, your to do list is ultra maxed out, you feel like you can’t get a grasp on everything and that your head is gonna pop? Those are the times that I used to just let overwhelm me but now I’ve learned how to deal. In those particularly stressful times, I stop everything for a few minutes, sit down, pray and usually put on music to calm myself down. I then take out my planner and jot down a little system that I learned years ago; a system I like to call “The Four Corners” system.

Basically you get a piece of paper and divide it into four equal sections. You then label them as follows:

1. Important/Urgent

2. Important/ Not urgent

3. Less important/ Urgent

4. Less important/not urgent

Those titles are pretty self explanatory. You then think of everything you need to do and divide them into the category that best suits them. It really helps you to think clearly about what you need to get done.

  • Which item on your to do list is most important and needs to be done ASAP?  Some good examples: booking an important doctor’s appointment, dealing with a ticket, etc.
  •  Which is important but not urgent and can maybe wait to be done early next week? Renewing a passport perhaps….unless of course it’s expired and you need it to travel in two weeks (!) then it gets bumped to important and urgent.
  • Which is less important but still needs to be done urgently? For example, buying someone a birthday gift is less important than booking a doctor appointment but still needs to be done before you head off to that birthday party tonight.
  •  Finally, which items are the least important and not urgent and should therefore not take up too much of your thoughts until you have more time? A good example of this would be redecorating your living room. You still want to do it but it’s just not a main priority.

These are some examples that hopefully helped you to visualize this “4 corners” approach. Try it sometime! It really helps me in the crazy seasons (which just so happened to be today for me personally!)

What methods help you to stay organized in overwhelming seasons? Got any tips to share? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!

Halloween, Holidays, Uncategorized

To Halloween, or not to Halloween; that is is the question.

So it’s that time of year again. Halloween. Every year it brings division amongst the Christian community. You have Camp A….those who staunchly oppose all things Halloween related. They believe that Halloween is rooted in paganism, is a celebration of all that is demonic and Satanic, and is to be avoided and opposed at all costs. Then there is Camp B…they see Halloween as nothing more than a fun day for kids to dress up and eat candy, and therefore figure, why not? They don’t celebrate ghouls and goblins, but see no harm in their kids dressing up as a princess or cowboy and eating candy. Which camp do you belong to? And which camp do I belong to, you may ask? Well for me, I probably belong more to Camp B but recognize both sides and will tell you why.

Read Romans 14 and it pretty much sums up how I feel about this topic. (All passages in bold are my editing).

The Weak and the Strong

14 Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarrelling over disputable matters. One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.

One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind.Whoever regards one day as special does so to the Lord. Whoever eats meat does so to the Lord, for they give thanks to God; and whoever abstains does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living.

10 You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister[a]? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. 11 It is written:

“‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,
‘every knee will bow before me;
    every tongue will acknowledge God.’”[b]

12 So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.

13 Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.14 I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean. 15 If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy someone for whom Christ died. 16 Therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil. 17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, 18 because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval.

19 Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. 20 Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a person to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. 21 It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall.

22 So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who does not condemn himself by what he approves. 23 But whoever has doubts is condemned if they eat, because their eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.[c]”

In all honesty, I do believe that both Halloween and Christmas do indeed have some roots in paganism (just do some research and you will soon agree). However, what I love about Christianity is that it has this pesky way of turning everything around for the glory of Christ, much to the chagrin of the enemy I’m sure. Satan’s tactic to persecute the church in its early days only led to the gospel spreading further into regions beyond and Christians becoming known for their radical devotion to their King and Saviour. The early days of our church fellowship were birthed in the midst of the 1970’s love, sex and rock & roll movement. A miraculous thing happened though… a bunch of wild hippies started getting saved! What a miracle! Our churches could have tried to turn them against their roots of rock & roll, but instead turned rock & roll into an opportunity for the gospel. Now, rock & roll obviously was not birthed with Christ in mind and has over the years most definitely been a tool of Satan, however we chose not to hide from it but rather use it as a tool and opportunity for evangelism. Over the years, thousands have heard the gospel through our rock & roll concert scenes…chalk one up for Jesus! Now interestingly enough, the same thing is happening with our churches and hip hop. Hip hop is powerfully being used to reach the lost in today’s generation.

That brings me to Halloween and Christmas. If you look at the roots of Christmas for example….the evergreen…the yule log…mistletoe….many of that can be traced back to druidism and celtic paganism. Does anyone today really think of druids and pagan gods though when they think of Christmas? I think the answer more or less is a resounding no (unless you happen to be one of those modern day hippie witches that’s into tarot cards, the moon phases, crystals and all that junk…they’re around). Christmas and the winter season has beautifully been turned around to celebrate the birth of a Saviour, the joys of giving, and the celebration of family and friends. Simply listen to some of the Christmas classics on the birth of Christ and you immediately are moved by their inspiring lyrics of an amazing God who would humble himself to come and dwell amongst us. Many of us know that a large number of people that aren’t normally open to coming to church or are particularly receptive to the gospel are somehow softened to the gospel during this season. Chalk another one up for Jesus!

Jesus instructed us in Matthew 10:16 “Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” (ESV) We are called to be shrewd and wise in our dealings and part of that I believe is being strategic in making and using opportunities to spread the gospel. In our church this past weekend, we hosted a two night Halloween themed drama presentation that we used to invite visitors out to. We saw many visitors and many people receive the gospel message through the drama we put together. Before the events started, we held a costume party for kids in the community. My son dressed up as a dragon, and even ate candy. I did not feel convicted in the slightest about letting him participate. In his three years, he has dressed up every year thus far but has been a part of some kind of Halloween outreach or other church event. The reality is that if your children are fully involved in the kingdom of God and living a life actively ministering to the church and the world, that will impact them far greater than letting them participate or not participate in Halloween festivities.

As it said in Romans 14, you should be “fully convinced in your own mind” on what you believe. I am fully convinced in my mind that my kids are free to enjoy pumpkins, dressing up and candy provided that we continue to live a life that is sold out to Jesus…going to church as a family, outreaching as a family, practicing hospitality as a family…these things are far weightier matters to me.

That said, I don’t disdain those who choose not to participate in Halloween. If they are convinced in their own minds and have worked out their own reasoning, then I support their decision. The other day, a lady sent me a link to a video by ex Satanist John Ramirez (who has a very powerful testimony by the way), of him explaining why Christians should not participate in Halloween. Now coming from someone who once actively followed Satan, was filled with demons, and is coming from a background that is full of witchcraft, I can understand why he chooses to speak out against Halloween so ardently. I think I probably would too if that was my testimony and background as well. There are others I deeply respect (like Dale Partridge) who also speak out against Christians celebrating Halloween. Then there are still others who speak out against Halloween yet are filled with gossip, slander, bitterness,etc. These people have missed the boat completely in my mind. If you won’t celebrate a holiday because of your supposed religiosity yet are actively holding onto secret sin, then your stand against Halloween is for naught.

At the end of the day, as Romans states…be fully convinced in your own mind. Paul wrote about these things because sometimes we can get tripped up over disputes such as this. There are obvious sins that we must avoid, but then there are these issues such as choosing to celebrate Halloween, watching movies or not, having a TV or not…these issues that can be argued over with different sides being argued for and against. My thought on this is what Paul said…do what you do with confidence being led by His Spirit and anything that causes a brother or sister to stumble, keep away from.

I choose to let my kids celebrate Halloween because for us, it is an opportunity for evangelism and a day for the kids to have fun. We live a life that is active in the kingdom of God with strong morals and standards and so I don’t worry about my kids being won over to the dark side through one day. I am convinced in my own mind. What about you? Whatever you decide, be led by His spirit and be fully convinced. Feel free to share comments and thoughts on this controversial topic below!

Kristin XO

Homeschool, Uncategorized

Why I chose homeschool (Part 2)

First of all, I apologize for the delayed post! Our house got hit with a terrible bout of sickness and it seems to have taken me longer than expected to get into my “groove” again. I find the more I have on my plate, the more I struggle to catch up from little lapses in our schedule and routine. I also promised myself that unless my home, family, and church are being cared for as a priority, I have no business spending time blogging. I now finally feel caught up, healthy and organized and so here I am!

This is a follow up to the previous post on why I am choosing homeschooling. In this post, I would like to focus on the factors of influence and the individual personality of a child.

  1. Influence

Peer pressure. It gets a bad rap really. Everyone always talks about the negative sides of peer pressure when in fact, peer pressure can actually pressure people into becoming better individuals. When taking peer pressure into account, it is not one of the weightiest reasons for me choosing homeschool, however it certainly is a considering factor. Peer pressure is all around us and try as we might, we can never fully protect our children from its grasps. In the previous post, I expressed my concerns against our government run schools and their policies/ideologies. I am far more concerned about teacher/system pressure on my child than I am about peer pressure. I maintain that you could shelter your child from school and then off you go to church where they are confronted with even worse “peers” than at school (gasp! I know…hard to believe right? But remember, if we are doing our job of fulfilling the great commission in our churches as we are supposed to, our churches will be filled with broken people and families with (gasp again!)…sin. Not that they are to stay that way and remain in sin mind you, but at the end of the day, we are all simply works in progress 🙂 ). So if bad influences abound no matter where you turn, it can only be concluded that you must believe and search out the good influences. This is where its important for me that I make sure that my boys are not simply being sheltered from bad influences (next to impossible), but that I am actively searching out good influences for them. The choice of homeschooling for me is a flexible choice. At the present moment, its what makes the most sense and works with our family, however, I am open to God directing us otherwise and I am also hopeful to start a homeschool co-op program (homeschooling with other local families who are interested). The reality is that although I can’t control my children nor hover over them 24/7, I like the involvement that homeschooling and/or co-op homeschooling allows for me in being an influencer upon my child and also having a little more say not in who their peers are, but how much influence they wield. 

2.  Individual personality of a child

We all know that each child is unique and special in their own way. Our elder son Miles is very stubborn, independent, but he also is very easily influenced. He tends to pick up traits, phrases, expressions, etc. from other children very easily. He likes to learn at his own pace, does not prefer typical “classroom” environments nor typical classroom group activities. He likes to engage in single projects that are important to him and act independently in gathering information. That’s the good stuff…now for the bad stuff (we all have our up sides and down sides at the end of the day)…Miles tends to be a bit lazy, complacent and lacking in curiosity. Now knowing this as his parent, I love that I can tailor make and adapt a schooling routine, curriculum and philosophy to not only capitalize on his strengths, but teach him to overcome his weaknesses. In our first two months of homeschooling, I have already learned many things about what works when teaching Miles and what doesn’t. I find that many schools today don’t allow for individual learning styles, not to mention the fact that these days, schools are not the best growing environment for boys in particular (Interested in this subject? I have included some good links for reading about this subject below)

With these things in mind, I have weighed the pros and cons, prayed, sought wisdom and come to the conclusion that in order to protect my boys from the influences of government run programs run by a very corrupt government…in order to ensure that my husband and I maintain a strong influence in our boys’ lives….in order to instruct and inspire them in a way that actually teaches them to love to learn, think, and problem solve…in order to protect, encourage, and foster their masculinity…homeschool is our best option.

As I mentioned before, I really did wrestle with this decision, as I (being a lover of all things “school”) loved the idea of sending my children to a school. As I considered and pondered, I read the following quote by Dale Partridge that really helped me define and clarify my thoughts in this decision making process. I’ll close with it…I hope you enjoyed this post…feel free to share thoughts in the comments below!

“Over the years I’ve heard Christian parents enrolling their young children in public school because “They will be a light to their friends” or “We must teach them to be in the world, but not of the world” or “We can’t keep them in a bubble forever”. My response to these folks is this: All of your extrapolated scriptural references to (“be a light” or “be the salt” or “be in the world not of the world…”) were instructions originally written to adults. Jesus nor any of the apostles sent young children out to evangelize or to disciple or to be missionaries or to be the iron in another child’s life. Now, I understand public school may be the only option for some families. However, let me remind you what Jesus said about the leadership of children, “But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a millstone wrapped around his neck and be drowned in the sea.” Public elementary school is not a mission field for your young child. There is an appropriate time and place to reveal this world’s agenda to our children, but it’s not through public schools with transgender philosophies, prayer-free campuses, false scientific teachings, and politically driven ideologies designed to indoctrinate the minds of our 7 year old sons and daughters. And look…there’s nothing easy about finding a safe solution for your child’s education. But one thing that I’ve learned to be true is this: The right thing is almost always the hardest thing.”  –Dale Partridge

 

Read: The War Against Boys (Article by The Atlantic)

Buy: The War Against Boys by Christina Hoff Sommers

Homeschool, Uncategorized

Why I chose homeschool (Part 1)

First things first. Homeschool was not my first choice. I am 100% a lover of all things “school”! For one, I personally enjoyed school immensely. I absolutely loved my college experience and would have loved to continue on in my education were it not for the fact that I felt led to a different path. I always tell others that if I had the money, I would probably just be in school full time. I love learning, I love books, I love notebooks, I love class…I love it all. I also love teaching. I taught in a Christian private school for a few years and thoroughly enjoyed it. I love the idea of sending my boys off to a school with classes, friends, field trips, recess, sports teams, assemblies, and all that comes with the typical school experience. So why, you may ask, the sudden change of heart? For me, it comes down to the issues of curriculum, influence, and the individual personality of a child. This blog post will deal with the issue of curriculum.

My husband was actually the first one to bring up the topic of homeschooling years ago when my oldest son, Miles, was just a baby. At the time, I was totally more on the side of “Nope”! For one, it is a huge investment of your own personal time, and as much as I love my boys, I really and truly love the idea of having some alone time in the day to pursue my business, follow up on new people in the church, clean, etc. No mommy guilt about that sentiment at all, and I think most other moms can relate. When your children are old enough to attend school, it is a time for you to be able to reset, breathe, focus on other endeavours, catch up on work…all this and more.

With that in mind, I love the idea of sending the boys to a good Christian school but in honesty, our finances currently prevent it. With a good Christian school, you can more easily guarantee that you will agree with the curriculum and have more say in what is being taught and sometimes more importantly, not taught. That brings me to the first issue of curriculum. The current situation where we live in the province of Ontario (Canada) is that our liberal run provincial government thinks that children in our schools need an “updated and upgraded” sexual education curriculum. Topics such as masturbation, anal sex, and transgenderism are to be taught to children under the age of ten. There has been some backlash of course, but the prevailing government seems intent on “educating” young children on things that they have no business learning about. In all honesty, I have no problem with my children learning the science behind our bodies and how they work, even perhaps in a sexual sense (at a much older age of course and in gender divided groups). I don’t however want the government, schools and teachers educating my children on their idea of the morality behind this subject. That is strictly for me and my husband, as parents, to teach our boys about. Then of course, to add insult to injury, our provincial government decided to pass the controversial Bill 89 in June of 2017. I have inserted a link at the end of this post for anyone interested to watch on exactly what this already passed bill is all about. The gist of it however can be seen in this outline I have copied from the Real Women of Canada site seen in the following paragraphs.

It (Bill 89) appears to effectively give wide jurisdiction to the State to control the lives of children in the CAS, and in doing so, interfere with the parent/child relationship. This occurs by defining the “best interests of the child” so broadly as to include: the child’s physical, emotional, mental and developmental needs, as well as the child’s race, ancestry, place of origin, colour, ethnic origin, citizenship, family diversity, disability, creed, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression.

That is, these broad sweeping provisions in the legislation make every family vulnerable to the removal of their children from their home on the basis of the ambiguous provisions listed in the bill as defined by the government, especially by regulations, which require no public debate or approval by the legislature.

For example, this proposed legislation permits the CAS to withdraw a child from its family if it is determined the child is likely to suffer emotional or mental harm, or for a parent’s failure to provide the child with services or treatment. If a child decides he/she is of a gender other than his/her biological gender, the parents are required by this legislation to provide transgender medical services to the child or risk the child being removed from the home.

The reality, too, is that many children do resist parental direction as a part of the growing up process. As a result they may experience “mental and emotional” discomfort when their parents insist that they do as instructed.  This parent/child conflict could, under provisions of the bill, lead to the removal of the child from the home.

Unlike the previous Act, a child’s religion is no longer a factor to be considered in determining the child’s best interest. That is, “religious faith” has been removed at nearly every reference contained in the previous Act.  No longer can parents direct their child’s religion, but rather it is the “child’s creed” that is to be taken into consideration when determining the needs of a child.   This provision will create conflict within the family over such issues as abortion, gender identity or even assisted suicide if the child decides that is what he/she wishes.  The inclusion of children in the assisted suicide legislation is currently being heavily advocated. (realwomenofcanada.ca/bill-28)

With these kinds of curriculums and bills in place, there is a very real and definitive attack against the family, against religion, and against the innocence of our children. I would be lying if I didn’t say that this issue singularly was the biggest deciding factor in whether I would send my boys to school or not. I simply do not feel comfortable releasing my children to a government run program that is so firmly anti-religion and anti-biblical truth. Don’t be deceived if you haven’t seen it firsthand yet in your community schools. Satan is not a fool and he never plays fair. He almost always works slowly and incrementally so that his agenda does not shock or cause immediate alarm. However over time, it creeps in while those who are not watching are oblivious to its subtle deceptions and this is what I believe is his strategy for our schools. Pray for our schools, families and especially our children here in Ontario. Not every family has the privilege or opportunity to homeschool or send their children to private schools and so we need to do everything we can to support those families who are most vulnerable. Raise awareness. Speak out.  But most importantly, let’s pray,

Link to video on Bill 89

Stay tuned for another blog post on the next two issues on why I decided to homeschool (influence and individual personality of a child).

 

Xo Kristin

 

 

Uncategorized

Starbucks Giveaway!

GIVEAWAY NOW CLOSED

Let’s get this giveaway on the road! My heart and desire is to see this blog grow into a vibrant community of women sharing and interacting. What I don’t want is just a website of me writing my own thoughts and ideas. I want to have a place where women can come and express their own creativity, not just read mine. I want the topics to be relevant and helpful to everyday women living for and following after Christ… and even those who are not yet following Him. Of course for that to happen, I need readers! So let’s get this blog going and growing!

The prize:

One $50 Starbucks gift card

How to enter:

Two easy steps!

  1. Simply subscribe to this blog by clicking on the “Follow Blog via Email” icon in either the sidebar or the footer (depending whether you are on a computer or phone) and enter your email.
  2. Comment in the comments section of this post a topic (or topics) that are close to your heart and that you would like to read more about on this blog. (UPDATE: As some of you were having trouble posting a comment to this post, you can also post your topic/topics on the original giveaway post on Kristin’s Instagram)

And voila, all done!

Contest rules:

You must be over 18 and reside in either Canada or the USA to enter (apologies for the rest of our readers over the globe, a contest will be coming in the future for you too!)

Contest will run from Tuesday, September 26- Tuesday, October 3 at noon. Winner will be announced Tuesday, October 3 in the evening via Kristin’s IG account (@kdanismall), via the blog, and the winner will also be directly contacted via email

You can subscribe to the blog via WordPress as well, but only those who leave a valid email address will be considered for the giveaway for this particular contest.

Winner will be selected randomly through an old school style draw out of the hat posted via Instagram (@kdanismall).

 

Best of luck! And as always, thank you for your support!

Love, Kristin

Uncategorized

Keeping your cool during constant interruptions

Ah, the life of a mom. Nothing ever goes quite as expected or planned. Add in a husband who loves to “live life on the edge”. Check. Add in ministry. Check. Add in pastoring a church. Check again. And you’ve got yourself a recipe for constant interruptions.

When we first got married, I was so unorganized and free spirited that the interruptions and unexpected things of life didn’t affect me the way they do now. Now that I’ve read a few organization blogs, use a planner, and generally try to keep some semblance of order in our household, my stress levels just don’t hold the same as I try to desperately hold onto the tenuous grasp I have on routine and order.

Ministry and especially pastoring a church brings a whole new level of interruptions. You can guarantee that if your church is budding and vibrant (as a church hopefully should be), there will be plenty of needs that constantly pull on you (particularly if you are a stay at home or work from home mom- people just seem to think that if you’re home, you are basically doing nothing anyways and should therefore be available to answer every beck and call…not true in the slightest as all my SAHM’s said AMEN, but I digress). The reality is however, that if you are going to have the heart of Christ, you sometimes must abandon your self-preservation and fully give yourselves to others.

It’s interesting in the book of Philippians, that Paul points out and commends the work of Epaphroditus saying “Receive him therefore in the Lord with all gladness, and hold such men in esteem, because for the work of Christ he came close to death, not regarding his life, to supply what was lacking in your service toward me.” (Philippians 2:29-30 NKJV) This man came close to death in order to pursue the work of Christ. Paul doesn’t rebuke him for this and say “Now, now… time to slow down Epaphy! Don’t overdo it!”Not at all, he commends him for his acts and attitude. Nowhere really in the Bible does it tell us to protect our precious schedules and routines and slow it down with helping others. In New Testament Christianity, nothing was more important than loving and helping one another. Now, we hit the nitty gritty of this. How exactly do we make ourselves available to help others while maintaining our own routines, homes and sanity? How do we function as God has called us; in excellence in our jobs, as mothers, wives, etc. and yet still be able to respond to the interruptions that loving others inevitably brings? How do we keep our cool when life doesn’t go as expected or planned? Here’s a few points to consider that I have learned over the years:

  1. Pray

I have found that in my craziest seasons of interruptions….driving people to unexpected appointments, watching a single mom’s sick child,  rushing to a hospital to visit someone in need, unexpected house guests, etc…that the only thing that keeps me sane and at peace is prayer. Abiding in Christ is not just a nice catchphrase, and even though it sounds simple enough, it is one of the hardest things to do in actuality. Truly learning to abide in Christ comes through a life of prayer and simply learning to walk with Christ. Daily prayer time is vital, and learning to constantly talk to Jesus throughout the day will give you the peace that can sustain you when you feel completely overwhelmed. As a pastor’s daughter, I always grew up knowing this well but it wasn’t until recently, when I faced a seriously interruptive season that I finally understood that this really is the answer. On a particular overwhelming day, I highlighted these passages from Anne Ortlund’s Disciplines of the Heart as she quotes Oswald Chambers, “Think of the things that take you out of abiding in Christ – Yes, Lord, just a minute, I have got this to do; yes, I will abide when once this is finished; when this week is over… Begin to abide now. In the initial stages it is a continual effort until it becomes so much the law of life that you abide in Him unconsciously. Determine to abide in Jesus wherever you are placed.” True peace and rest in the midst of the storms and chaos of life can only truly come from Christ.

       2. Have a routine

Kind of sounds counter productive…having a routine just to interrupt it, but hear me out. I have to reference again myself when I first got married. I cannot describe how unbelievably unorganized I was. Constantly losing keys, forgetting appointments, feeling unsure all the time..it was not a nice feeling at all. So of course, when interruptions came, I was less stressed than I would be now because my mentality was more or less “Why not? Add some more madness to the pile!” When the interruptions were over however, it took me even more time to recover from them because I had no plans of any kind in place. I will reference Anne Ortlund again (her Disciplines series are some of my favourite books). She states in her book Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman referencing the importance of planning and goal setting “Yet, if at any stage of life you feel like you’re ‘flying by the seat of your pants’, taking each day as it comes without having anticipated it, planned for it, shaped it, and prayed over it, then take time off and get back to poring over your goals. Then you will control your days, instead of letting them control you.” If you have plans, an active to-do list, and a routine; when the interruptions come, you can then quickly figure out “What exactly am I not going to get done because of this interruption? When is the next best time slot for me to accomplish this task/these tasks?” Then write it in your calendar/planner and move on with a sense of peace knowing that although something didn’t get done, you have a plan in place to recover.

       3. Learn when to say no/Learn HOW to say no

Sometimes we do have to say no. For this concept however, take a moment to consider your personality. I have a girl in my church who is the polar opposite of me. She’s fun, always down for a good time, always on the go, loves to be out with people, and is always willing to drop everything and anything to go help anyone. Me, on the other hand…to me, fun is just an F word. I like books, quiet, studying theology and doctrine, being home, and being alone. (What a charmer, I know). Taking this into account, I can then pretty much quickly surmise that out of the two of us, she is the one who probably needs to learn to say no more often, whereas I need to more often embrace the call of saying yes to helping others in need. What about you? Do you naturally love to be out and about, helping and being with others? Do you maybe need to take some time to quiet down and invest in your walk with God, your own home and family? Then read on. The rest of us whose natural inclination is to be introverted and inwardly directed, it is probable (although depending on your specific situations) that we must take a little time to turn outwards. An excellent book I would recommend for this specific topic is Lysa Terkeurst’s “The Best Yes”. A great read on understanding the difference between saying yes to everyone and saying yes to God. Understanding priorities will also give you direction when choosing when to say yes to interruptions and the needs of people. If at any time, your relationship with God, your church attendance, or your home and family are being neglected, it might be time to consider saying an occasional no. Those things must be a priority, it wouldn’t be right if a woman was to throw herself into all kinds of charitable work while forgetting to spend time with God or her own family.

Another important factor that goes along with routine, is that you can choose how to say no. The other day, someone asked if they could come over one morning to talk to me and get some encouragement. She was flustered and stated she needed to come over “immediately”. I was already feeling at max capacity, but felt that I needed to spend time with this girl. Instead of saying no, I sat and looked at my routine and schedule and figured out how to best plan this “interruption”. Mornings are for housework, doing homeschooling with my eldest son, exercise and prayer/reading. I asked if she could work with my schedule and instead come during the boys nap/quiet time. She could, and it worked out great! Some occasions don’t lend themselves to being so easy to reschedule, but when you can, try to keep control over when your interruptions fall. Don’t be afraid to ask someone to work with your schedule and routine.

       4. Learn when to say yes

Ultimately, this is where the rubber meets the road. There have been many times where someone has had a need and my immediate thought is “How can I get out of helping in this situation?” Christ often reminds me though that “to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin” (James 4:17 KJV). Yes, often helping others in need will interrupt your schedule but are we so caught up in ourselves that we can no longer feel the burden of someone in need? Can I still be interrupted for the cause of Christ or have I become so inwardly directed that my precious house, routine, and family time can’t be bothered?

In conclusion, interruptions will always be an inevitable part of life. What will you do when they come? I hope and pray that we can firstly, find a constant oasis of peace and tranquility through abiding in Christ. Next, may we show diligence in planning our own time and schedules so that we can respond to needs without flipping out and feeling overwhelmed. A simple pencil crossing out and rescheduling a task can make all the difference in the world. May we also know when to say no with grace, kindness and confidence if we genuinely cannot meet a need. But may we also make ourselves available for the cause and burden of Christ, allowing ourselves to “gladly spend and be spent” for others.

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Walking in her moccasins

“Don’t judge any woman until you have walked two moons in her moccasins.” -PROVERB

I don’t know about you, but I often steer clear of social media (even for months at a time) because I find that it is so easy to get caught up in the comparison game. My little internal conversations might sound a little something like this… “Why don’t I look like her 2 weeks post partum?! How in the heck….What? That girl’s husband baked her cookies and bought her flowers AGAIN? My husband doesn’t even…Oh my gosh. She got a new dress…again. I’m wearing ratty leggings….again. How is her hair so beautiful and styled all the time! I can barely shower for 3 minutes without being interrupted, let alone sit and style my hair into gorgeous frickin curls every day!” And so it goes, and if you’re anything like me, then you can probably feel my pain.

I remember reading a devotional not too long ago that had the following story that inspired me and made me think twice about the comparison game…

” ‘The Changed Cross is the story that tells of a weary woman who thought that the cross she must bear surely was heavier than those of other people, so she wished that she could choose another person’s instead. When she went to sleep, she dreamed that she was taken to a place where there were many different crosses from which to choose. There were various shapes and sizes, but the most beautiful one was covered with jewels and gold. ‘This I could wear with comfort,’ she said. So she picked it up but her weak body staggered beneath its weight. The jewels and the gold were beautiful, yet they were much too heavy for her to carry.

The next cross she noticed was quite lovely with beautiful flowers entwined around its sculptured form. Surely this was the one for her. She lifted it, but beneath the flowers were large thorns that pierced and tore her skin.

Finally, she came to a plain cross without jewels or any carvings and with only a few words of love inscribed on it. When she picked it up, it proved to be better than all the rest, and the easiest to carry. As she looked at it, she noticed it was bathed in a radiance that fell from heaven. Then she recognized it as her own old cross. She had found it once again, and it was the best of all, and the lightest for her.’

You see, God knows what cross we need to bear, and we never know how heavy someone else’s cross is. ” (Excerpt taken from A Mustard Seed-Devotional)

This story came to mind when this week I came across the old native proverb about “walking in her moccasins” written in my daily planner. Too often we look at others lives coveting and wishing for their lot in life, not always realizing the secret burdens they must carry, the heavy weights that accompany their riches, and the thorns that follow their beauty.

The Bible says in Luke 12:48 that “to whom much is given, much will be required.” Often those who truly have “much” carry the weight of knowing that God will require double the stewardship from them. I think of Moses, how blessed he was in his intimacy and closeness with God…to actually even see a hint of God’s glory and live! Wow! And then we read that because of one small mistake acted out in a (very understandable!) moment of anger, he was denied access into the Promised Land. Yet here that principle comes into play again, Moses was entrusted with some heavy stuff…the secrets of God so to speak and so he was not judged with the same measure as just average Joe down in the Israelite camp. Sometimes when I ask God for more in even a spiritual sense, I am cautious knowing that when I am given more, I will be held to a higher calling and responsibility.

So let us remember this the next time we are so quick to want someone else’s life….their looks, their family, their money, their spiritual giftings….that our cross to bear is perfectly made just for us and our strength, and God gives us exactly what we need in order to best flourish as ourselves.

What if we said: She’s beautiful but so am I, instead of, ‘She’s beautiful and how do I measure up to her?”